no. 12| 06.03.2014 |
Stereotype Threat.
While researching stereotype threat I came across the “little white guy does bad at sports” example. It brought an old memory back: the last time somebody asked me if I was a boy or a girl. I was 13.
I was hanging out at my dad’s office after school. He was chatting with a colleague. That colleague’s young daughter was also in the office that afternoon. At some point, she came into the room to ask her dad something, but first looked at me, paused, and then asked me what my name was. She gets major credit for trying to figure out the situation in a cagey way, but “Gannon” is pretty useless to a 1st grader as a gender tell. So she asked the follow up question. Which was awkward. And then her dad, overhearing the whole thing, responded by laughing heartily. Which made my 13 year old self feel really humiliated.
At the time, stuff like that reinforced my conception that I was the least boyish boy imaginable. It followed that anyone seeing me would know immediately I was a terrible athlete. Indeed, I was bad at sports. Really bad. I had a perfect record in basketball, cross country and tennis. Missed every shot in every game, came in last in every race, and lost every match. Eventually, different experiences taught me I’m much more physically capable than I thought I was as a kid, and that my self conception was the biggest barrier to improving my skill. (That said, I’m still not good at the previously listed sports. The “sporty” things I go for are beer kickball and roller rinks.)
What really comes to the forefront for me when reading about things like stereotype threat, is how difficult it is to avoid thinking I know what someone else is thinking. Especially if I think they’re thinking something about me. Truly understanding the motivations behind the actions of others can be murky business. Phenomena like stereotype threat, that add invisible, unconscious behaviors to the mix, complicate matters even further.
Efforts to counter stereotype threat will likely be helped by mindfulness and practice. Paying attention to how I’m feeling physically has proven to be a good trigger for mindful behaviour. Shoulders hurt? Shallow breathing? Tired all of a sudden? Those are big cues for me to take a minute and think about why. An internal investigation can sometimes be enough to figure things out, but it can often reveal times I need outside clarification — when it’s time to stop imagining what someone else is thinking and just ask. This is of course not possible all the time. I usually only do it with complete strangers, or with friends I really trust.
I appreciate that DBC is asking us to read about mindfulness, stereotype threat, conflict, etc.. Having an introduction to such ideas and terms will make it less jarring to open a conversation about these topics when the moment calls for it, and even if we don’t all see things exactly the same way, common vocabulary and concepts can help make dialog possible in a situation where trust will have to be built quickly.